The French call it that “Je ne sais quoi” described in the Oxford dictionary as “a quality that makes something or someone attractive, distinctive, or special in some way·”, being that these qualities are difficult to place into words I define it as having “charisma.” Those people who have those charming qualities are the charismatic people that we flock too. But charisma is not to be misinterpreted with physical attractiveness. Because not all charismatic people are Aphrodite´s or Adonis´s, however, it is the way they may carry themselves that makes people attracted and find them irresistible.
So, the next step is to find out how to be charismatic? Can anyone possess this gift from the God´s? The answer is yes. People are not born charismatic they are made.
Charisma is the ability to attract, charm, and influence the people around you. We can learn to be more charismatic by paying close attention to our nonverbal communication and the way we carry ourselves through our posture, our eye contact, and gestures. Our vocal capabilities also add to this as well. But at times when a charismatic person walks into a room, they may not necessarily even say a word and yet, all eyes are on that person. Because of the confidence they exude in their nonverbal communication. 65% of all communication is nonverbal. Therefore, a lot can be said about who we are just by those nonverbal cues that we bestow. Our nonverbal behavior gives away our inner personality and reflects our inner attitude.
Posture for example is one of the key elements of emitting confidence. Confident posture gets you noticed for all the right reasons. It reflects your attitude. Good posture along with a great smile can turn heads into your direction. Our eye contact is also key. Making sure to give the attention to those who are talking to you by gracing them with good eye contact. Controlling our nervous micro-gestures is also crucial. Micro- gestures give away signals of our insecurities and nervousness. They may be difficult to control, but once we are aware of them, we can take the first steps into disciplining ourselves in avoiding them. Having strong and confident gestures when we speak is key. Keeping our arms uncrossed, hands out of our pockets and relaxed at our sides. All these factors in combination, attribute into being a more charismatic person.
The next time you decide to go to a networking event and wonder why no one is approaching you, stand up straight, smile wide, give great eye contact and let your charismatic confidence shine and I guarantee that all eyes will be on you!
Karyn Suárez, Executive Coach and Public Speaking Trainer